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Once upon a time, in the economic ladder
of success at a publishing house, two people from a local magazine’s
creative department were in love. They helped each other at work and
they became the perfect real life rendition of a romantic comedy.
The proximity provided by working under the same department
constantly made them go through the same thing. Two different lives
suddenly became less and less indifferent from the other. Lunch
break became an everyday awaited date.
Theirs was a happily ever after romance.
Theirs was a true story.
Kyle*, 22, has been working at the
entertainment section of a local niche magazine for around three
years and he witnessed that love story unfold with his very own
eyes. He referred to it as an example of a workplace romance.
“Workplace romance is good when it inspires you,” he said.
It is also helpful for newcomers because it helps them fit in with
their officemates easier, he added.
He said it is good to have a workplace romance if through it the
persons involved grow and benefit from the relationship.
Rose*, a career woman in her forties,
is one of those who have found their significant others in the
company they work in. She was in her late twenties then, but she had
not had a serious boyfriend. Raul* was someone she used to see in
the canteen of the office where she always had lunch. Numerous gifts
and dates later, they officially became a couple. They are now
married with four kids.
 Rose
and Raul and Kyle’s officemates are just part of the growing number
of individuals who have found love in the workplace. A US-based
survey conducted on the internet claims that almost half of
Americans have dated co-workers in the past. 40% of the respondents
said yes when asked if they had ever dated a colleague, while 30%
said that they eventually got married to their colleague.
Rose and Raul may not be Americans, but the situation in the
Philippines is not as different from that of America’s in terms of
dating in the workplace.
“I’ve seen many of my colleagues date and eventually get married to
another co-worker. This is quite rampant even here in the
Philippines,” Rose said.
Despite having found her lifetime partner in the workplace, Rose
still believes that the office or any other work area is still not
the perfect place to foster a budding relationship.
“There are so many things which could prevent you from growing as a
person, most especially in the social and the professional aspect in
your life,” she said. “When you work in the same area, you tend to
have the same social circle as your significant other. [This] may be
quite unhealthy.”
Another disadvantage is that the life of the couple may be put under
public scrutiny.
“When you get into arguments, the whole office automatically knows
what happened between the both of you. The next thing you know, you
are the subject of the latest gossip making the rounds of the
office,” Rose quips with a chuckle.
“The excitement to see each other also wanes,” she said. “Being in
the same working environment decreases the opportunity for you to
get to know each other in a different environment.”
Also, many companies in the Metro prohibit senior to junior
executive relationships. Some cite that such relationships hinder
the employees from working professionally.
Mary*, a team leader from a call center in Eastwood City, Libis,
recalls her company’s policy to discourage relationships between
trainees and team leaders.
“It is not so much as blatantly forcing the relationship to end.
It’s just that the company does not encourage such relationships,”
she said.
Another difficulty that could arise is competition against your
partner. This happens when the persons involved are under the same
field and are after the same career improvement.
Kyle shared his parent’s story, The Beginning of their Work-Related
Fight.
“My mom entered Philippine Star three months after my dad but she
was promoted first; that started fights,” he said. “Let’s admit it;
our society’s still somewhat patriarchal. Men are expected to be
more successful than women.”
He said competition is inevitable but through good communication, a
healthy romantic relationship can be maintained.
But other than maintaining a healthy relationship with one
officemate, a good relationship with the rest of the officemates
should also be maintained. This becomes rather hard when the
relationship had fallen apart, he said.
“There was this one time when a layout artist and an editorial
assistant from a different magazine [under the same publishing
company] got together. They lasted for years. When they broke up
there was tension inside the workplace. Since we all belonged to one
circle of friends, some sided with the girl while the rest with the
guy and this divided us,” he shared.
When such problems like this arise, things should be dealt with
professionally, he said.
“Remember why you’re there [at work] in the first place. [You’re]
not there to flirt around. Romance comes second,” his sentence was
left hanging as a petite morena passed by.
“If it comes at all.” Period.
LOVE CONTROL
1. Behave: Public
Display of Affection
Romance should mostly consist of private memories. The
office may not
be the perfect setting for affectionate gestures.
“Your officemates may not be comfortable with it. It may
give you issues with your HR and may cause you your job.
Inappropriate conduct may be used as grounds to fire
you,” Kyle said.
2. Distance: Suffocating Relationship
Although one of the advantages of working with your
partner is proximity, space for growth should not be
forgotten. A relationship consists of two lives
intertwined not one life of two persons. Allow your
partner to have a life of his/her own. And trust that
you’d continue to be a part of it even is you’re not
present all the time.
3. Be Professional: Dealing with the Breakup
Remember that you are working as a team. Just because
your relationship with one didn’t work, doesn’t mean you
should drag the whole team with it. One of the common
problems arising from failed office-based romance is
when its failure cripples the team’s work performance.
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“Be professional. You
don’t even have to talk. Just do your job, that simple. Give each
other time and eventually it’ll be okay,” Kyle said.
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*Names
have been changed. |
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